ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
