i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize