Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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