it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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