Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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