Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
