Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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