Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
