Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
