I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
