All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize