we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
