I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize