So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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