You made me cry and you don't even care
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
