i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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