"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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