I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
