When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
