a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
