Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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