i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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