Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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