im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
