I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Fuck appropriateness.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I need a beard to bite.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize