I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize