EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
