it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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