38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
