Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize