Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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