Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
