im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
