just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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