OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
