thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
