on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
