i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize