every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
