Whod you bang
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
