I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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