Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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