There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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