you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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