I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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