My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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