I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
