well I can't set my house on fire every night
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
