How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
