she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
