is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize