East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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