I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
