I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
