im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
