My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
