There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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