She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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