Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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