I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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