you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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