are you so shy because you have an std?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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