if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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